Christmas will be here before we know it and, with it, the dilemma many Christian parents face:
WHAT TO DO WITH SANTA?
Traditionally Christians have come down on two sides of the Santa debate. Some decide that Santa is Satan spelled a different way and reject the plus-sized elf completely. Others see no harm in embracing the tradition of Santa and jump into the season full throttle, elves, reindeer, and all.
But could there be another way that lifts up Christ yet includes the fun of Santa? That’s what my husband and I struggled with as parents.
GOOD SANTA
On the “good Santa” side there are those who claim that Santa is a harmless tradition that brings children happiness and adds to the season. After all, there was an actual St. Nicholas who gave to the poor. Besides, how could anyone deny their children the joy of visiting Santa at the mall, reading “ ’Twas the Night Before Christmas,” or watching The Polar Express?
Mixed into all this are the Christmas memories we enjoyed as children. How well I recall as a child the joyous anticipation of Santa’s arrival—hanging my stockings, leaving him milk and cookies, and the excitement of going to bed Christmas Eve knowing that when I awoke he would have left presents under the tree. One year as I lay in bed, I was sure I heard the jingle of Santa’s sleigh and the clatter of reindeer hooves on our roof. I still remember the delicious thrill of it all! Wouldn’t we want our children to experience the same wonderful memories?
Then there’s the parental leverage of being able to say, “You’d better be good or Santa won’t bring you any presents this year!” (Not a recommended practice but, nonetheless, used by many an exhausted holiday parent).
And what about the parental shame of daring to celebrate Christmas without Santa—deemed in our culture to be a despicable act worthy of Scrooge himself?
BAD SANTA
On the other hand, there are the naysayers. Santa, they declare, secularizes a season meant to celebrate the birth of Christ. It directs kids away from God, the ultimate Gift Giver, who offered His Son so that we might draw close to Him. In stark contrast, the secular Santa infects kids with the “gimmies.” Oh, yeah. It’s all about the presents! A far cry from the message of the Christ child.
Furthermore, Santa is given god-like qualities. He is omnipresent (everywhere) and omniscient (all-knowing). He travels the whole world in one night and knows if you’ve been naughty or nice. He’s also the Judge of all, deciding who gets presents and who gets coal in their stocking.
Then there is The Lie to consider. Parents spend a lot of time explaining to their kids the “theology of Santa”—how he gets around the world in one night, how he manages to squeeze his portly figure down ill-fitting chimneys (or gains entrance where there is no chimney), how he knows if you’ve been “bad or good,” and how it is that we see more than one Santa at the shopping mall. Then, after years of indoctrination, we tell them the truth: it was all a good-natured lie, after all. (Wait a minute. Doesn’t the Bible teach us not to lie? But here we are modeling the opposite for our children.)
How well I remember the crushing disappointment I felt when a little boy in my Kindergarten class told me the truth about Santa. Which raises the question some are asking: if Santa, with all these god-like qualities, was a lie, might not this sow seeds of doubt in children regarding the reality of the omnipresent, omniscient God Himself? Maybe not for most children, but I actually heard a testimony of a young woman who abandoned her belief in God when she was told there was no Santa Claus.
Naysayers believe we should excise Santa completely from Christmas.
A MODERATE APPROACH TO SANTA
As my husband and I struggled with what to do with Santa, we at first leaned toward excising him completely from Christmas. But then a mom who had taken this tact reported to me an incident that took place when she was shopping in the mall with her son one day. A Santa approached him with a warm greeting, to which the little boy replied in a loud voice, “You’re bad!” I can only imagine the shock on that poor Santa’s face and nearby shoppers. Santa rejected? What kind of parent must that mom be?
Surely there was a better way than this! How could we highlight the birth of Christ to our children without setting them so starkly against cultural norms? We finally decided upon an approach that worked for us:
- We emphasized the celebration of Jesus’ birthday with our kids. This meant choosing Christmas decorations that reflected the Nativity, reading the Bible and books about the birth of Jesus, and establishing traditions that focused on the real meaning of Christmas.
- We decided to make celebrating Jesus’ birthday so much fun that the kids wouldn’t miss Santa. If you talk to our kids today, I think you would agree we accomplished this—despite the reaction of some who thought we were irreparably damaging our children by de-emphasizing Santa.
- Santa still had a place, but a minor one. We read and enjoyed “ ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” We watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We even placed a yearly gift under the tree that came from “Santa”—a little family joke that always elicited groans. “Mom! We know it’s from you and Dad!”
- Speaking of which, our kids always knew who their Christmas gifts came from—whether Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, or whomever. It was important to us that they recognize that people had labored over their gifts and that our children show gratitude to those that expended time, money, and effort to give them a happy Christmas morning.
- We nixed the St. Nick lie. We told our kids up front that Santa was a fun part of Christmas but he was pretend. He was just like any other pretend character—like Bluey or Curious George.
- Finally, we instructed our kids to respect other families’ traditions about Santa—not to criticize or look down on them. In particular, they were not to tell other kids that Santa was not real. It was up to their parents to decide when and how to tell them. I have to say they did really well at this. They also learned to smile and not to make an issue of it when adults asked them, “Have you been good for Santa?” and other such questions. These folks were just being nice. We didn’t launch into diatribes defending our decision.
WAS IT WORTH MINIMIZING SANTA?
Looking back, we would do Christmas the same way again. Our kids are grown now with no irreparable damage that I can tell—at least not from our Santa decision. When they speak of their childhood Christmases their eyes still light up. We must have done something right.
There might have been times when we felt pressure from others to put Santa front and center in our celebrations, but it was worth the cost.
Putting Santa in his rightful place—not as the star of the show—not ignored entirely—but as a minor fictional character—was the right decision for us.
How do you handle the Santa dilemma? Leave a comment below.
I love this approach Karen! Even though I’m a grandparent now (and need to respect my son and daughter in laws approach) my grandchildren come to our home and Iove looking at the many nativities that are set up. It’s just another situation where we need to show we are in this world, but not of this world.